The Total Fanboy
by halfhuman123
Summary: Raimundo gets tickets to go see his favorite concert LIVE! When he goes for an autograph, however, he gets a rude awakening. A little oneshot I've been holding onto for WHO knows how long. Raicentered.


**A/N: I decided to do this fanfic for no real good reason. I looked it over recently, and it's gone through a bunch of changes, too. Anyways, here's the fic. Also, I think I made up titles to songs that they won't sing. If they ARE titles of actual songs, then: MY BAD. I DIDN'T KNOW. And I'm too lazy to change it or look them up.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The people are all from somewhere else, too. If you know, don't say, but a cookie for you.**

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It was another day at the Xiaolin Temple, and all the monks were training hard.

All, that is, meaning Omi.

Clay was off, searching for an extra rope, his old lasso broke.

Kimiko and Raimundo were looking excitedly at something on her PDA.

Omi scowled. They were supposed to be training for when evil came. WHY WEREN'T THEY TRAINING!?

Clay came back out of his room, his lasso attached to his belt. There was someone who would take training seriously, Omi thought, smiling and striding up to him.

Unfortunately, Clay turned towards Kimiko, Raimundo, and the PDA, drawn to the odd noise coming from the small speakers.

"Whatcha looking at, partners?" Raimundo seemed to entranced, so Kimiko took it upon herself to answer.

"It's Rai's new favorite band, 'EBG: Epiphany'. They're really good, wanna listen?"

Omi stomped over and began yelling loudly. "NO! He doesn't want to listen! We should be practicing, not listening to music! ...Uhm... what exactly are you listening to?" He looked over Kimiko's shoulder.

There was no picture on the screen, just the letters "EBG: Epiphany" really big, and the music blaring out.

"So, Rai... who exactly is EBG: Epiphany, anyway?" Kimiko asked.

Rai stared hard at her. "WHO IS EBG: EPIPHANY? Only THE greatest band EVER!" Omi nodded.

"A band? We have those here. They play mandolins while we PRACTICE OUR KICKS!"

But Rai was ignoring him.

"If only I could meet them. Well, maybe not all of them, just the lead singer/guitarist. Did you know he's only seventeen?"

The rest of the morning was like that. Full of "interesting" trivia about "EBG: Epiphany", curtasy of Raimundo.

Later, at night...

Rai was surfing on Kimiko's PDA before he went to bed, a few new emails, but nothing big...

Until...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" The other monks jumped out of bed, and crashed into Raimundo, who was running out of his own room to find them...

"What's wrong, Rai?" Kimiko asked, holding up the Star Hanabi. Everyone had a Shen Gong Wu, they thought he had been attacked.

"Uhm... well, actually... it isn't like that." They looked at him, understandably confused. "Actually... I just found out that... EBG:E's having a concert, and I scored tickets!"

"I can't believe you woke us up... at THREE IN THE MORNING to tell us about these stupid TICKETS!" Kimiko yelled. It was breakfast the next morning. Master Fung heard the ruckus, and, with many odd looks towards Raimundo, allowed them to go, if they would come back should any emergancy arise during the afternoon they'd be gone.

"Relax guys, you'll see. The concert this afternoon... it's gonna be BIG!" Omi was steamed.

"I cannot believe we are going to a CONCERT instead of TRAINING at the TEMPLE!" He said, grinding his teeth.

Raimundo took this as excitement, however, and said, while Kimiko and Clay held Omi down, "I know! I knew you'd be psyched about it too!"

At noon, they went to leave, Dojo transforming reluctantly. He didn't want to go, but just in case something happened, he needed to be there to tell the others.

Raimundo shook his head. "No no no! We can't go to a concert on a giant DRAGON! People are there!" He added in a whisper to Dojo "Lots and LOTS of people."

Dojo shrunk and shivered. "I hate crowds. I always manage to get stepped on. Do you know how painful that is?" He climbed up Kimiko's arm.

"Okay then, RAI. What do YOU suggest we do?" She was dressed in black leather pants with a red shirt that hung down a little past her waist, but was still tight. Her black hair clung to her back. Clay and Omi looked the same, despite Rai's constant picking and prodding.

Raimundo, however, was dressed quite out of context. He had on baggy black pants, decorated with chains and silver stitches and pins. His shirt was gray, with a big "EBG:E" stamped on it in red. It was his favorite shirt, he said, and he hadn't ever worn it, in all of the four months he had it.

Today he'd wear it, in hopes that the illustrious lead singer/guitarist would sign it.

"I suggest we take the Silver Manta Ray!" He said, holding up the miniturized Shen Gong Wu. It grew bigger, and the group climbed in, a little mad at Rai for the hubub that morning, but still excited. They were going to a real live CONCERT!!

Later...

"LOOK! There's the stadium!" They arrived not too long after, Raimundo was practically bouncing in his seat when they landed, and was the first to jump out.

"COME ON, GUYS! We gotta go find our seats or else they might--oof!"

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GO-- Raimundo?!"

He looked up. "Wuya? What are you doing here?" She crossed her arms. She was wearing the same old thing, but this time with high heels. Chase was leering behind her, apparently only here to keep an eye on Wuya.

"I was about to ask you the same thing. Shouldn't all young monks be back at the temple training?"

Chase rolled his eyes."She came to watch her newest little fling."

Wuya turned and glared. "It's not a fling! 'EBG:E' is... I mean... I go for the popcorn."

Raimundo looked at the other three, who shrugged, and pushed past Wuya and Chase, pushing through the crowd, pushing their way inside to get to their seats. There's a lot of pushing to be done at concerts. They finally made it to their seats, four in the same row, pretty close to the front.

Unfortunately, Chase and Wuya were ticketed, and were supposed to sit a few rows away. The warriors silently vowed to keep an eye on them, just in case they tried something. "Yeah. Wouldn't want the precious boy band hurt, now, would we, Rai?" Kimiko mocked him, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

He, however, missed the sarcasm. "You REALLY think they'd try to hurt them!?"

An hour and a half later...

"When are they gonna start the show, Rai?" Kimiko asked.

Clay nodded. "Kim's right. I think now... well, now we're just wastin' time." Omi piped in, peeking out from beside Clay.

"That's what I've been saying! I propose that we--" At that time, the lights dimmed. Rai's head snapped back to the front in turn with Wuya, stars appearing where their eyes should be.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!" A professional deep voice blasted through the speakers around them, as the entire stadium exploded with applause and cheers. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am very proud to introduce to you the newest, greatest, hardest rockin' band of the year... 'EBG: Epiphany!'" And the music began to play, and more than half the crowd was on their feet, screaming at the stage. The lights dimmed, and the song started, softly at first, with a guitar solo, but then...

A smooth melodic voice erupted from the speakers, and as the curtains opened, they could finally make out the sillouettes of people in a band.

As they sang, Raimundo mouthed the words in time with the beat, on his feet like most of the others in the crowd. "Who knew Raimundo could be such a fanboy?" Kimiko asked, more than a little stunned about Rai's current attitude.

Omi shrugged, and was quiet for a moment, before asking, "What is a fanboy?"

And with that, the song faded. The audience was clapping and cheering like mad, Raimundo, the warriors thought, was the loudest of all of them, Wuya coming in a close second, Chase watching her with serious disapproval on his face.

They sang a few other songs, most of which were "Raimundo's favorites". "This song's called 'Live and Let Die', the lead singer's favorite!" "Oh! This one is 'Next Friday Night', I really like this one!"

"'Beating the Dead Horse' Oh, this song is really great! What?" Even Wuya was joining in the fun. Everyone rolled their eyes.

After a couple of hours of more songs, Raimundo stood up during a lengthy piano solo and started pulling up the others.

"Rai, you dragged us all the way here, and now you want to leave right in the middle?" Kimiko exclaimed. Rai shushed them, and dragged them out anyway.

"Look... we leave now, and we can catch the lead singer before HE leaves. Trust me, they do this at all their concerts. We get there early, and I can get my autograph."

They marched after him to the back door. Sure enough, there was a small crowd of people, looking excitedly at the door. Raimundo joined the group (of mostly girls) waiting in line.

Not long after...

"HE'S HERE!! Epiphany's HERE!!" One of the girls squealed, giggling zealously. Or was that Raimundo?

Yeah. That was Rai.

Three girls were in front of him, and busy giggling, and flirty, and getting two or three autographs, for their friends, or mothers, or sisters, or...

Finally, it was Raimundo's turn. But...

"No way... It can't be..." Raimundo backed up several paces, causing some of the girls to squeal at their stepped on toes.

The warriors looked at the doorway, rushing to see what was the matter. But when they got there, they all gasped.

"Jack Spicer?" He raised his head and frowned at them, but he looked different from the last time they saw him. His hair was much longer, a darker blood red, and he looked a little taller and bulkier. Not to mention he had gotten rid of the usual "evil genius" jacket.

Now he had on a leather jacket, complete with Fankenstein tank-top. How could they have not seen it before?

Because it was dark, that's why.

"You guys wanna keep it down? I-- just-- come on!" He said, dragging them back inside the building through the back door.

Inside the VIP lounge...

"Woah!" Huge stacks of snacks were covering every table, complete with sodas and candy. The other three members of the band were sitting down at one table, cheering, whooping and hollering about the success of their surprise performance. They turned when they heard the door open and waved anxiously at Jack, one of them standing up to usher him to the table.

"JACK! Dude, we've been waiting for you! Tonight's performance? Off the chain! We should definately do more surprise shows!" One of the boys said. Jack shook his head.

"We can only do them once in a while, or people will begin to guess dates and wait around for tickets and stuff." He sounded happy around this group of guys, and they all seemed to accept him as a sort of leader.

The tallest boy (Who also had the second longest hair) looked to the door and gestured to the young monks. "Yo, Jack... who are THOSE guys? Fans? 'Cuz fan's aren't allowed in here, you know..." His voice got low towards the end, and he started sounding really sort of angry. The two other boys glared at them too, making them really uncomfortable.

"No, no, nothing like that. Guys, these are the... uhm... Well, these are the Xiaolin Warriors." He said.

"Ooohhhohoh..."

The three other kids nodded, with slight grins on their faces, as if a private joke had been cracked, and they didn't want everyone to know, but they still wanted someone to guess.

"Warriors, this is Tommy," The shortest one with the longest hair held up a hand. "Zeek," The one with the shortest hair nodded. "And River." The one who was talking to Jack before sort of just looked them over, unimpressed. Tommy and Zeek went over to shake hands. You know, make friendly.

River stayed seated. "Jack. I still don't get it. Why'd you bring them here?" Jack waved a nonchalont hand, and grabbed some Doritos, which River promptly ripped out of his hands.

"Don't worry about it, Riv. Besides," Jack ripped it back, opening it and popping a few in his mouth. "It's not like they'll squeal. RIGHT?"

Raimundo, silent at finding out his musical hero was his mortal enemy nodded. "Yeah, sure, whatever. I just have some questions. How long have you been doing this?" Jack reclined on one of the big poufy arm chairs, while the other three gathered around him, and the warriors sat in front on the floor.

"Oh, boy. Story time." Zeek said, while Tommy just chuckled.

River crossed his arms and grabbed a soda. "This should be good." He said quietly.

Jack frowned and scratched his head. "How long... let's see... it's been about five months since the last Shen Gong Wu was activated, and I got bored. So, I got together these guys, the closest people I've got to friends," at this, River grinned appreciatively.

"Here, here, Jack."

Jack hi-fived him and continued, though the warriors thought that was a bit abbrasive. "I got these guys together, and, since our parents are, well, loaded, we were an instant, overnight success. Their parents are all in some sort of buisness deal with my dad or something, I don't know. They sponsered us, and all THEIR associates have kids our age. They were told to come see us, and, well... we got famous." Jack finished simply.

Tommy piped up next. "EGB: E's been selling steady for the past month and a half now. We've almost reached a million. This concert was in fact a gimick to get more sales on the album!" He said, bursting into laughter half way through.

"Okay, that explains that. But what does the EBG stand for?" Kimiko asked. She was usually good at figuring out acronyms, but this time...

"You REALLY can't figure that out?" Jack said, grinning and spreading out his arms. Everyone thought it over, until Clay caught on.

"Evil Boy Genius!"

Jack clapped his hands together. "Way to go, Cowboy." Jack said, clapping slightly, though Clay was pretty sure he was being sardonic.

Zeek looked back at Jack. "Does that mean he wins a prize?"

Jack glared. "What are we gonna give 'im, idiot? The free food? No way. He'll eat it all." River, Zeek, and Tommy laughed loudly at this, causing Clay to blush and look away.

Spicer noticed, and, without meeting the bigger boy's eyes, spoke. "Relax, Cowboy, we didn't mean anything by it. Besides, after all the mean stuff you guys have done to me? That should be, like, childs play in comparison."

Tommy handed them each a soda, and looked over to Jack with admiration. "Evil Boy Genius: Epiphany is gonna be BIG! Huh, Jack? And with all of us," He gestured to his band mates, who grinned appreciatively. "There's no WAY we're gonna be forgotten ANY time soon." Jack stood up and stretched, while River, Tommy, and Zeek gathered around him.

"You SURE it was a good idea to tell them? I mean, they actually KNOW you..." The warriors could hear River's voice through the pounding of millions of feet of people leaving the stadium above them.

"Dude, time for a few autographs." Zeek said, slapping his partners on the back. They cheered, and headed for the door. Jack turned back towards the warriors after his group mates had left.

"Listen, losers. If you wanna stick around, enjoy the free food, whatever. Just don't touch my pudding cups. And, hey, don't worry about River. Trust issues, or whatever." They waved him good-bye, but not before warning him about Wuya.

"Seriously? SHE'S out there? I thought she was a cold heartless witch with no taste for music?!" Jack asked, scratching his head and leaning on the doorframe.

Kimiko nodded. "That's what we thought. And then she and Chase Young showed up. She was super giddy, I'd be careful if I were you." Jack nodded, thanking them and left them to stay in the room to enjoy whatever free food they could get.

Omi was about to enjoy what looked like candy in a small pink packet, when he noticed Raimundo sulking in the corner. "Raimundo, my friend, something appears to be munching on you."

Everyone turned to look at him. "I think you mean 'what's eating you'. And YOU'RE about to eat a Sweet N' Low packet, Omi." Raimundo said tonelessly. Omi was mid-pour as he stopped to stare at Raimundo, who just sighed.

"It's just that... this whole time, it's been Jack Spicer." Kimiko nodded.

"Yeah, it's wierd isn't it?" She asked, before chomping down on a candy bar.

It was silent for a while, until Raimundo spoke up again, this time sobbing loudly as well. "And I STILL didn't get my AUTOGRAPH!!"

END!!

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**A/N: Just a bit of Rai-ripping. WHAT inspired me to do this, I haven't the slightest. And yes. It is wierd. VERY wierd.**


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